Living the Farm Life @ Soderlind Farms

Down home, farm fresh living!

Confession Time…


I know we’ve all be inundated with it. We’ve heard the very differing opinions/facts and been subjected the media’s version of what’s accurate and what’s not. We’ve been told over and over not to panic, not to worry, just take a few precautions.

Well, I’m here to tell you, to CONFESS to you, that I AM worried. No! That’s not accurate. I am TERRIFIED of what’s going on lately.  I am almost in panic mode. Of course, I don’t voluntarily tell people this as they would look at my like I’ve lost my marbles (and maybe I’m beginning to). And I of course, do not want to inflict any panic in my children.

What I’m referring to, my few followers, is EVERYTHING that is gong on lately: ISIS, Ebola, the corruption, scandals, lying, etc, etc. The list continues on. I am terrified that the government is lying to us about just how serious the situations/threats are. It seems that our dear leader is making no move to try to protect his people from these threats. Instead, he opens the borders and allows whoever and WHATever come into our country and invade us and our children. I realize I just opened myself up to all sorts of ridicule and hateful, negative comments, but the fact remains that he, nor the rest of lovely government have done a thing. We would have heard about it had they done anything to actually try to protect us as politicians can’t keep from trying to pat their own backs.

I’ve read all the stories, comments, news sites, etc that I can get my hands on regarding the recent goings ons around here. I’ve heard people’s opinions. I’ve read the “facts”. The facts that the government WANT you to have, anyway. I’ve cried, I’ve pleaded, I’ve gotten angry, and I’ve been in near panic mode since hearing of this.  And finally, I’ve prayed.

Now, anyone who knows me, knows that while I DO believe in God, I haven’t stepped foot in a church in YEARS for worship, and I sure haven’t read my Bible (for reasons that is left for another story, another day). So, I AM not some Bible thumper that just feel off the religious branch and cracked each limb on the way down.  I am not hear to preach to you, or demand that you become involved in church or whatever. What I AM doing here, is simply giving another opinion.  Take it with a grain of salt if you wish. But I think God has blessed me by being a pretty insightful person. I tend to see or FEEL, if you will, certain things about people I’ve just met, or things I read, or things that are going on. No, I’m not saying I’m psychic.  I’m just saying I trust my gut.

Having said that, I have a feeling the end is drawing near. It may not happen in the next day or 5, it may take a year or several. But, I feel time is running out. I have felt this on and off my whole adult life, but now, it is ever pressing. The urgency I feel to get things done, to make things “right” is sometimes overwhelming. Guilty conscience? Maybe. Just plan fear of the unknown? Possibly. God pushing me to take care of business? Definitely.

I don’t know what’s to come tomorrow, or next week, or next year.  All I know is that I fear it’s very unpleasant.  I know we should be prepared to take matters into our own hands.  I know that it’s time to get right with God. If you don’t believe, maybe it’s time to start.

I question things all the time. I question WHY God would choose to let bad things happen to good people. I question WHY God’s will is what it is. I question HOW God’s will is beneficial. I’ll never know the answers to those questions probably. I do know that I have been attending church on Wednesday nights for the last several weeks.  I do know that when I leave, I usually have a sense of peace. I do know that it has taken me a while to get where I am. I also know that last night I didn’t want to go. I had things that needed to be taken care at home as we prepare for our trip (prayers please).  I told my kids I’d take them, but I was going to stay home.  They promptly told me no, that they wanted me to go. So, yes, I know that God was there and was telling me to go. See, I had made a deal with myself earlier. I was on my way to pick them up after I got off work. I didn’t want to go to church. I told myself that if the kids didn’t ask to go to church, I wouldn’t go. BUT, if they DID ask, I’d go. Even after they asked to go, I was renigging on my promise to myself. I guess God had other plans.

I tell you all this to let you know that I am still questioning things. Things that others at church seem to know the answer to. Things they would probably tell me that I’m not strong in my faith since I’m questioning those things. Bur, I’m working on it. Because God is pushing me to do just that….for whatever reason.

Maybe it’s simply to have some peace in this unsettling time. Maybe nothing is going to happen like I think (and I don’t even want to go into the details of what I think is about to happen for fear of starting more panic that necessary). Let’s just say again, that I think our time here on Earth is becoming increasingly limited and will be bathed in disease, fear, panic, pain, and hostility. I fear for my children. I fear the worst is yet to come to all our children who believe in Christ and refuse to denounce His name. I fear that most of all.

Yes, lots of you will call me crazy and may look at me differently tomorrow if you actually know me. Maybe some of you will offer words of wisdom and insight and try to dispel my fears and doubts about what’s to come. Yet, even more of you may agree with some of the things listed here, although you won’t dare to make it known that you agree with me. That’s ok. Because while I am still near panic mode and still very much unsettled by what’s coming, I have found that God is giving me a sense of peace, as well. And I’m sure that if I actually surrendered it all to Him, I might feel even more peace. But I’m not exactly sure how to surrender it all. I’m working on it.

I do hope, dear friend, that I am completely off base and WRONG in my opinions. But I don’t think I am. I don’t think I am at all. I think it’s coming for us. I don’t know what will actually “get” us in the end, but I do know, it won’t be good. I do encourage each of you to do your best to protect yourselves and stay safe. I encourage each of you to get right with God, at least to give a try and take some time to listen to what’s in your heart. But most of all, I encourage each of you to PRAY! Pray for our safety, pray for the safety of our children. Pray for our country and our government. Pray that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that it comes quickly.


3 thoughts on “Confession Time…

  1. I get this completely! I ‘ve transitioned from panic, to prepping. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a game plan in place for when crap hits the fan if Jesus hasn’t already came back to take us with him! I’ve been on the fence about writing anything about this, because “normal society” does think we are crazy. You hit the nail on the head with this post 🙂

    • Thanks, lady! If you don’t mind me asking, how are you prepping for upcoming events?

      • Well, up until the last weekend (since we’ve been packing to move) I just had a general plan that I’ve discussed with my family and a few other relatives as to if “x” happened (different scenarios, time allowing), we would grab certain things (food, meds, seeds, guns/ammo, generator, etc.I had a whole list of what to grab from each room & if the kids were with me then things they could grab) and head to “x” location and wait for everyone to meet up. After a certain time frame (if needed, & probable) we’d move locations & I’ve discussed with family to see if they plan on sticking it out or caravanning along. I do NOT want to be in town when anything happens. Basically our camper would serve as our home as long as we would be able to haul it. Also, quiet things to keep the kids busy, and being able to navigate our way off of major roadways is another.

        However, now that we are moving into our camper in about 2 weeks for the next 6-12 months- I need to re-evaluate everything. Obviously food, seeds & personal protection are still major priorities.

        We should do lunch sometime- I think we’d have plenty to talk about 🙂

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